


brainfog (title WIP)

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hypersexuality, M/M, Spiralling, WIP, anexity, exposure to sexual content at young age, humiliation mention, omorashi mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan is a teenage boy with a problem: he can't stop thinking about sex, and is deathly terrifyed of his peers finding out.At the same time, Dan has to deal with his strange inability to ejaculate, only worsening his sexual thoughts and furstrations.With panic, anexity and self hate with every step he takes, can Dan find a way to escape his own mind and body, and find true freedom?
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Kudos: 4





	1. prolugue

**Author's Note:**

> *THIS STORY HAS BEEN PUT IN THE GRAVE.*
> 
> Dear reader, thank you for choosing to read this fic. 
> 
> This is my first and most likely only attempt at writing a story and I can't guarantee I'll ever finish it. I'm very selfishly using it more as a stress relief rather than something to share with others to captivate them. That being said, I will try my best to actually end it. 
> 
> The story is complete fiction and actions are slightly exaggerated, yet is very greatly influenced by my own mind. I don't have a clear direction to go by, only a vague idea and my own experiences.
> 
> I hope I treat this subject with respect since I am no expert. Please don't take any of what is written as advice. If you believe you have a sexual problem or hypersexuality of any sort and are able to seek out help, please do. 
> 
> If you are triggered by these subjects, please don't continue reading: exposure to pornographic content at a young age, self hatred, panic and anexity, spiralling, sexual matters, heavy mention of fetishes, hypersexuality.

It's nothing out of the ordinary for a teenage boy to think of sex. Going through pubrety and being massively hormonal, it's a given that most teenagers would think, watch or do something sexual by this time in their lives.  
Dan was no exception - thinking about sex, watching porn and on rare occasions, making out with some of the girls who were desperate or drunk enough to make the mistake of sucking face with one of the school outcasts at some of his schoolmates parties, at least the ones he was actually invited to.

However, Dan feared he had a problem.  
He feared he was in too deep.   
Dan thought he was turning into a nymphomaniac.

There weren't any obvious physical signs for him to jump onto this conclusion, he didn't watch porn daily nor did he masturbate more than he thought was a regular amount, but to Dan it made total sense because of his relationship to porn and sexuality.  
Dan had discovered porn very early in his life, being left unsupervised to roam around the internet and being exposed to it quite a lot as a child.  
He made fond memories through pornographic content of different mediums, some of which became nostalgic for him.  
He developed strange kinks and fetishes which he was deeply ashamed of and kept secret.  
At an age way too young, he daydreamed about cartoon characters and friends from his class in absurd sexual scenarios he didn't even fully understand.  
And of course, encountered masturbation and eventually erections way before he even started pubrety. 

In a way, his brain was completly engulfed by sex, and becoming a teenager didn't help getting him out of that mindset.  
With the hormones and the developing minds and bodies of the people around him, talking about sex was inescapable, but Dan always tried to keep his mind as average as possible - interested in sex just enough to be a regular guy, but not so much he's considered a weirdo sex creep.

Sexuality was also a problem - his so called school "peers" loved to call him a plethora of sexually charged names, and with his sex focused hyperbrain he always took to analyzing them a bit too much, taking every "gaylord" and "faggot" and mulling over them for a long time, trying to make sense of his own sexuality while being lowkey enough for them to leave him alone. Discovering that his attraction to guys was stronger than the one he had for girls only made his self psycho-analyzing worse. 

It was all done in fear of getting mocked for his sick brain and bad childhood habits, potentially making him an even bigger school loser, and being left by his tiny group of friends which he worked so hard to keep.

Overtime it accumulated from a bit of anexity and fear of being discovered to nonstop thinking about every move he makes, every word he says, every action he takes.  
Dan was hyperaware of it all everytime he was in public, and would think of ways to improve and hide himself in his free time.  
Every night before falling asleep, he would think of something sexual to calm his racing mind. Everytime he would watch a show or read a book, he would quickly become bored of it unless it had something sexual in it, but he kept on watching to try and keep his mind balanced. He didn't have any dreams or goals in life, other than knowing what real sex, and orgasming for real with another person feels like. 

All of these factors of his life made him panic over his future relationships, believing he couldn't feel real love unless it was strictly sexual, that he would be stuck in a sexual rut forever, never being able to satisfy his desires and overwhelming any partner he could find. 

But embarrassingly enough to Dan, this wasn't his biggest fear. It was what his mind was thinking of all the time, but being a nymphomaniac was not what he feared most.  
As much as Dan didn't want to be a hypersexual demon, his fears fell much more within his hypersexual fantasies.  
Because Dan's real fear was his inability to cum while concious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After many a rewrite, i managed to finish it. Thank you for still reading.

I've decided to orphan this work.  
I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I can't do it. I'm so selfish and so scared. I don't know what to do and I'm so so sorry. Chapter one was a degeneracy and I'm so sorry for ever even thinking of publishing it. I don't know what I'll do with this story in the future. Maybe I'll find a way to redeem it. I'm letting the prologue stay but I will not continue publishing this story for the forseeable future. Thank you for reading and I am sorry for what I've done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a heads up for next chapter: I am not british and the british school system does confuse me a fair bit, so does british lingo, and british teenagers, british life, and... yeah.  
> I'll try my best to set the story in a regular british teens enviorment, but I apoligize for any mistake I will inevitably make.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you.


End file.
